我，真的是那么没有用吗？？？

28/12/09 2.08a.m

又是一个失眠的夜晚。。。。
我躺在床上，翻来覆去，非但睡不着，眼睛还红了。。。
我，又哭了，咳！！！
有时我真的觉得自己很没用！！！
父母骂得我对，这几个礼拜以来，我到底为这个家付出了什么呢？？？
答案是。。。。。。。。。
贡献几乎是零。。。。
我还是老样子，经常贴在电脑面前忙我的，而却忽略了他们。。。
更离谱的是，我还是用他们的钱去买衣服之类的！！！
真是不孝子个 >.<
我讨厌我自己！！！！！！！！！！！


另外，假期也要告一段落，这也象征着开学的到来。。。。
我想到着。。。
就害怕了！！！
我怕见到她，怕不自如何跟她沟通。。。
我，到底还是不是男人啊？？！！！
你到底还有没有心想把她追回来呀！！！
对，我绝对不能害怕面对她。。相反的，我还要即从容又大方的面对才行！！！
咳，说真的，我很想发短讯给她，i但又不懂该写什么？？
看到她现在过得那么好，我的心真的不是好滋味呀。。。。
这足以证i明了我在她心中并没有留下了那么深刻的因印象而已。。。
我。。。
也只在她生命中扮演着一个过路人的角色而已！！！


但是，我不会因此而放弃。。
无论前面的路有多坎坷，难走。。。。
我还是要勇敢去面对，就把它当着是上天给我的一个小考验吧。。。。
我。。。
不能像往常一样在那么不副正业了。。。
我一定要改变了。。。
人是要进步的，总不能停顿在原地，否则只会被社会淘汰，让周围的人瞧不起你罢了！！！


李逸钧。。。。。。。
过了今天以后，你真的要改进了。。。。。。。

最伤心的第七天

Yesterday was exactly one week since I broke up with her...
Deep from my heart,this 7 days actually is really very hard to pass on...
This is becoz i just can't forgot about her,perhaps she is my first love...
And dont know from when on,I started to have an interest in horoscope as
tis few days I would look at the horoscope so often!!!

Overall this week I can consider myself very lucky indeed..
Throughout the process, many of my friends have console me,really thnx a lot to them!!
Wish u all can find ur true love as soon as possible(4 single)..
While for those in a relationships,wish u all will have a nice and long lasting
relationships with ur loved ones!!!

Now I'm actually a bit confused + sad...
Coz from wat she said on fb,i can see that she is juz losing hopes on men..
SHE would not trust men so easily and more worst,she said she never ever believes
in LOVE!!!
=.=",tat's the main point,how can I chase back her heart?
An uphill task awaits me next year,how i'm gonna face her and pretend nothing happens!!
Can we still talk 2 each other naturally,or can we still go out with each other like d time when we
havent started be4??!!

Uhhh,I'm afraid tat's impossible le..
We will do our things on our own le without caring eacch other,how sad and cruel was tat:<
Haizzz,will that be my life next year,doing all those things alone??
I dont want to think of it at the moment..

All I know is that I will really have to step up next year..
I must prove to her tat I had really changed and I muz take things more seriously
and do things in a efficient way!!!
Even though it is hard to do it,but I really nid 2 do it...
I will let her regret 4 giving up on me!!!

So that's it for tis time,hopefully tis week will be a good week 4 me..
And merry christmas n happy dong zhi 4 everyone:)

Black December @~@

14/12/09 was d day tat i wont 4get till my death..
Y so?Coz it is d date where i br... off with her...
I really hate 2 hear those word,but perhaps she's rite,
we r nt suitable n we should take time 2 understand each other better first...
Tis is nt onli d age problem, but oso of where i cant be d man she wants :(

Yesterday i did lied 2 her a bit=.="
Not everything i said 2 her was d truth de..
Especially tat i'm ok after tis,how 2 u want me 2 be ok after such a thing happens?!!
I would need some time 2 recover from it,given it was my first love n it really struck my heart n it really HURTS *.*
Plus actually i didnt phone her is becoz i'm quite busy 4 serving my relatives from Singapore!!
But all of a sudden,i juz cant utter those words out n tat is my old problem,i really cant said wat i want when i phone her,c2pid +.+

Haiizz,now d main concern 4 me is tat how i'm going 2 face her after i go back 2 maktab...
Mayb she can pretend nothing happens n still talk with me like nothing happens...
But i really cant do so,I really cant face her,strange har?!
I will face her d whole year n i really very very SCARED about it,oh gosh!!!!
However,i will definitely nt gave up on her..
In fact,i would use d remain of tis holiday 2 improve myself...
I will nt be beaten like tat,i will stand up 2 be a better man..N becoz i'm still in love with her,so i
will try my best 2 chase her even there is onli a slim hope...

Well,tat's all for now n i really hope tat god will bless me 2 face all d tough challenges which lie
ahead....